If you have ever watched the movie “Mean Girls”, Regina George had her signature move being overly nice and then stabbing her friends in the back. The movie gives us a warning about people who are just a little bit too nice may have a different agenda. We should always watch out for those friends who have never said anything rude to your face because they could be saying it behind your back.
A recent scientific research that was published in December 2015 warns us that we must handle overly nice people very carefully. Social politeness and common courtesies are one thing, but if an individual is buttering you up out of nowhere, this could be an unwelcome sign.
The Annual Meeting of the Association for Computational Linguistics in Beijing (AMACL) concludes based on their scientific research findings that those who are “excessively polite” are considerably more likely to betray peers or comrades than those who are not effusively polite.
They aren’t fully honest
The above statement does not mean to say that every overly nice person is a liar, although some definitely are. We may believe that these people are as nice as they are portraying, but the truth is they are nothing similar to what they claim to be. These kind of individuals give priority to avoid upsetting others and to avoid conflict more than being honest and open.
They are manipulative
Some overly nice people are narcissistic in nature. They are just pretending to be overly nice as a strategy of manipulating their victims. These kind of overly nice people only use the display of affection and care towards you to create trust and compassion. Ultimately they will use you to get what they want.
They will insist that they’re really nice
Generally people are rarely what they claim to be, and those who try to portrait that they are a certain way are usually overcompensating for what they actually aren’t. Anyone who is genuinely nice won’t feel the need to announce it from time and time. Genuinely nice people will allow their actions to speak for themselves. If you notice that someone feels the need to announce that they are nice, they are probably trying to convince you that they aren’t fake people with a mask on.
They are incredibly annoying
In the November edition of Scientific Mind, an article titled “That’s Nice, Now Get Out” by Valerie Ross cited a study where the results show being overly nice was just as annoying as cheating. It may be nice at the beginning to have someone treating you nicely and always complementing you, but eventually the constant over the top affection and attention is going to get on your nerves. In reality, as humans we need people around us to push us and challenge us to bring the best in us.
They have a Martyr Complex
This is a syndrome that is present in many people than we realise. People with martyr complex often sacrifice their own health, happiness and well-being, acting as though it doesn’t bother them while feeling anger and resentment from the inside. The only thing they expect with their behaviour is to be constantly lavished with appreciation and praise. Once they do not receive the expected praise and appreciation, they will try to guilt trip those around them with a passive-aggressive behaviour.
They don’t allow themselves to be fully human
Let’s face the reality, life is not always easy. As humans we experience both positive and negative feelings in our day to day lives. If a certain person burry all their negativity, anger, frustration, stress and sadness while only expressing happiness, they are equal to ticking time bombs. If you get involved with someone like this, there is a good chance that you’ll have to deal with an emotion explosion sooner or later. All those emotions that have supressed and been boiling beneath the surface will end up in a nervous breakdown or a psychotic episode. That will be one hell of a mess for you to clean up.
Or, they may be under the influence
If a certain person you know does not get upset, frustrated or angry and display calmness and happiness no matter what the circumstance is. It’s entirely possible that they might be using recreational drugs to boost their mood. The niceness of these people is just a by-product of drugs rather than an authentic behaviour. Sooner or later these substances will eventually wear off and their true colours will shine through.
In my experience nice and kind people can be dangerous, not because these qualities cannot be trusted, but because these qualities are used by narcissists and sociopaths excessively to trick and betray others. It is very unfortunate that there seem to be more and more of these people, and they give genuinely nice people a bad reputation.
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