In a relationship, both people have to equally contribute to make it a success, but actually, it’s not how things are happening. There are many couples who are happy, but many are not actually happy. Breakups happen when things go wrong in relationships, and there are people, relationship experts who can say if the couple is breaking up or not. Alex Scot, a relationship and self-love coach had detailed about Four Horsemen behaviors which predict if the couple will break up through an informative video on TikTok. Her video is based on research by The Gottman Institute’.
She had said to Bored Panda that the Four Horsemen; Contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling and criticism doesn’t mean the couple will break up, but the problems can be fixed. And Gottman says it an ‘antidote’ which is meant that things can be fixed. And to be fixed both of them should have the willingness to do it.
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#1. Four Horsemen’s of relationships explained by Alex Scot.
@thealexscot#relationshiptopics #relationshiplesson #toxicrelationshipgoals #toxiclovers #healthyrelationshipafteratoxicone #healthylovelife #relationshipdonts♬ original sound – Alex Scot
She had explained to bored panda what’s the antidote for criticism according to Gottman. She had given an example about a couple talking about a particular incident. And had explained how to deal with the situation without getting heated or accusing each other and sorting things. And had said that antidotes for defensiveness and stonewalling are taking responsibility for your part in the relationship and also calming yourself respectively.
#2. Explains the behaviors that would cause a breakup.
#3. In some other videos of her’s, she had given tips and trick which would work for a relationship.
#4. Also had explained how people spread toxicity in their own relationship without knowing.
She had said how she became a coach, had had married when she was 20 as her house which she was raised had narcissistic abuse and religious trauma, and she had divorced at 23. And after she had been in relationships that were toxic and she had been very low. After she had questioned herself as to why she’s getting mistreated and what’s wrong with her.
And after that, she had search why when she was free and had found that childhood love and adult love differs. And then had found that the body is designed to keep them safe by connecting with familiar things. And then had said that as she was used to abusive behaviors from childhood she always connect with people who have such behaviors.
Then she had started to learn healthy relationship skills by removing the things that she learned as a child from her life. And things had worked well for her, she’s happy that she has an understanding partner, and she changed her life well. Also had said that such things should not happen to anyone in the world. Also said that she’s always there to help people and had said that she does one-on-one courses as well as two courses to help people.
#5. How TikTok users have reacted to her videos.
When you feel superior and you show it is a very bad thing in relationships. Gottman says that such couples have weak immune systems and are likely to suffer from colds and flu. Also not being open-minded and not hearing and changing your beliefs is also bad. Stonewalling or silent treatment and the fourth Criticism is also not good. It’s not nice to criticize your partner’s character even for small things. Alex’s aim is to stop such things and help women out there and let them have a happy healthy life.
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