How Does Marriage Change Personality?

Experts have found out what happens to the character of the newly-weds in the first year of their life together.

You have probably familiarized with the theory that having lived together for many years, spouses begin to resemble each other. Imagine that this trend promises Harry and Megan! Science does not deny, but explains the reasons for this development of events; a common diet and emotions over the time sculpt the faces of husband and wife, adding to them similar traits. Psychologists also argue that couples who are happy in marriage are more prone to “mirror” changes in appearance.


However, without being a scientist, one can predict that after a couple of years in marriage the spouses might watch together the same TV series or not agreeing to buy toilet paper of the same brand. They might have common gestures and phrases that do not escape the attention of friends, becoming proof of a harmonious union. The surprise is that the changes do not have to wait for years. According to a recent study published in the journal Developmental Psychology, they might reach into the life of the newly-weds very quickly within the first year of marriage most probably.  What’s interesting here is that, it’s not all about the household habits changes. But, the essence of the personality is the most important thing.

Justin Lavner, an associate professor of the Department of Psychology at the University of Georgia, the lead author of the study has stated as “We used to think of a person as a static figure”. But, the results of observations prove that the nature of each of the spouse varies within the first year of family life. The essence of the research was that 169 pairs during each 18 months in each of the three stages (six months, a year and a half) filled out surveys for analysis of the so-called “Big Five” – ​​the psychological model of personality, which is estimated by the level of such features as extraversion social and practical aspects of life), benevolence (friendliness, ability to come to an agreement), conscientiousness (consciousness), neuroticism (emotional instability), openness to experience (intellect).

So, what’s going on with the newlyweds after remaining a year from the wedding?

Both spouses do not seem to be nice and friendly!

However; Lavner use a theory which adds honey to the fly in the ointment: marriage is not a resort at all, and life in a new status takes time to adjust. It is necessary to bring the emotional, physical and financial interdependence to a level that was previously unknown to the couple. Then; anyone can show signs of irritability or discontent. Over the time; the situation will improve; psychologists promise. But the adaptation of the first few months together is capable of reminding us that real family life is different from ideal.

She is less open, he is not too sociable

Kindred spirits, a common language are the two points which undermine the attractiveness of the marriage. It would seem that everything is clear, live and happy. But, Lavner insists of that the first year is a serious test for social habits. Psychologists say that “It is clear that the newly-weds are accentuated on their relations, paying less attention to friends and colleagues. On the other hand; at present; couples unite not only passion, but also the implementation of plans for the future, which involve in a transition from words to deeds.” That is, the newly-weds seem to be watching each other while performing daily tasks on the way to common goals as close as no one else in the world. Well, this alignment justifies the changes in character.

She is calmer, he is more conscientious

Finally; at number three, only good news. In terms of neurotic manifestations (susceptibility to negativity, anxiety, sadness or any other unhappy emotions); usually, more points are scored by women. This is the tendency. This has been confirmed again by psychologists. Fortunately, the marriage calms us while creating a more stable background for the fragile feminine psyche. Newly wedded husbands tend to show more conscientiousness and generosity. Dr. Lavner believes that by marrying people adopt the positive qualities of a partner, supporting and encouraging each other is the secret of that phenomenon.