A lonely woman or a man would eventually die even with continuous availability of basic needs, due to being mentally disturbed. This is where the necessity for a healthy relationship involving trust, respect, and proper understanding comes in. However, the person he/she chooses might not be the best one. A relationship characterized by mistreatment, disrespect, intense jealousy, controlling behavior, or physical violence can be defined as an abusive relationship.
A person can be abused physically, mentally, emotionally, or sexually. Some even mistake abuse as an intense way of showing love. Many choose to keep it a secret, regardless of the intensity or the form of abuse. The reasons may vary but none of them does any good for the victims. Some of the reasons that can come into play are;
1. Co-dependency – Due to excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, the victim is intimidated by the loss of his/her partner.
2. Social embarrassment – The victim fears the tight position he/she is put into when answering the questions of society.
3. “Your fault” – The abuser can compel the victim to believe that it is his/her fault that he/she lost their temper. This leads to low self-esteem and a lack of self-respect.
4. Memories – Love shared during courtship establish faith in the victim that he/she can reverse the sudden change of personality of the abuser.
5. Financial dependency – This can be due to a lack of job skills, language barriers, health issues, or the immigration status of the victim.
6. Mortal fear – The abuser might threaten the victim that they will hunt down his/her loved ones unless he/she keeps quiet.
7. Loss of children – Custody issues of the children and fear of losing contact with the children can be the reason for the victim’s silence.
People who are abused often feel like it’s their fault — that they “asked for it” or that they don’t deserve any better. But abuse is never deserved by any.
You don’t have to wait for the right time to come to end the relationship. The moment you realize you’re being abused is the right time to get out of it. Inform the police. Get medical attention if you’ve been physically harmed or mentally down. Help is always there. It’s never too late to start over. Your future is for you to decide.
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Reading, creative writing, poetry writing and language learning have been my passions since I was young. I have won many Japanese and Chinese language competitions, and many national level creative writing, art & oratory competitions too. I am still schooling, and passed my O/Levels with distinction passes for English Literature, Japanese and English. I have also completed my Certificate of Human Resource Management. Apart from writing, I’m a brown belt holder in Gojukai karate, social activist, and FX analyst.