Mike Berry is a Writer and father of several children. He has shared in his blog why his wife matters to him more than his children and why this idea is important as a family. However, this article was very popular and was shared with many people. Certain people criticized his idea while others were inspired by his thought.
Mike and his wife have been happily married for 17 years. They are raising 8 adopted children, apart from that, they engage in a lot of social work in order to support other families who deal with problems and issues. They are objective is to help those families to build a harmonious relationship.
Here’s Mike’s article for your reference.
It is usually 8:30 when I give my 2 teenage daughters the first warning that it’s time. And at 9 pm I tell them, “You should go to your room.” I do this almost every evening. And they argue every time, “Why do we have to go to bed at 9? We are not children anymore!”
“You don’t have to go to bed now, I’m simply asking you to leave the living room. Mom and I haven’t seen each other for the entire day because we were concentrated on our work. We need time to be together.”
The girls roll their eyes.
Honestly, we have followed this rule for as long as I can remember. We have been parents for 15 years and the children never took all of our time. My wife and I spend a lot of time with our children but never 24/7. We love our children and of course, they play a huge role in our lives. They can always rely on us and get our help and support.
But aside from children, there is “us”. Our relationship. Kristin and I always have to make sure that our marriage is strong and healthy. There are several reasons why it is important and here are 4 of them.
1. A healthy marriage is the cornerstone of the home.
As per his view, the cornerstone of the family is not the children. Children play a huge part of the family but they would not be the ones who hold this chaotic structure we call family. So the most important part of the family is husband and wife. It’s you who has all the responsibility because children take their paths based on your example.
2. Before them, it was us.
We met each other before they come. So it was only two of us. We were in love, we went to classes together and we had nonstop phone calls, and we decided to stick together for the rest of our lives. so we managed to have a family with our kids. Of course, it brought us happiness and luck, but our marriage is sacred and valuable. Therefore, we need to make sure that we do everything to protect it.
3. After them, it will be us.
Everything is changing, it doesn’t stay forever. Kids are growing day by day and they become adults at some point. So they leave our nest at some point.” I don’t know about you but there is no place in my house for a 30-year-old child. So, when they leave our house, have their own families and raise their own children, I would like my relationship with my wife to remain as strong and intimate as it was in the very beginning. And in order to have such a future, we need to work on the relationship right now. Our relationship should be a priority. Of course, it is not as easy as it seems”
4. We need to set a future example.
Children follow the path of their parents. Mike always says that “We are raising adults, not children.”. Mike’s objective is to show his marriage as a good example for his children because the children would have a positive attitude towards dating, marriage, and love. When children see a good relationship with their parents, they will also take care of their relationships too.
“We have crazy schedules. We always lack free time. We spend the entire day with our children. And this is why I ask them to go to their rooms at 9 pm every evening. This is why my wife and I have a date twice a month and we go out. Because it matters.
This is why my wife comes before my children”.
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I am a Business Management graduate from the University Of Staffordshire (UK) and a qualified personnel officer who completed the National Diploma of Training and Human Resource development at Institute of Personnel Management (Sri-Lanka).
Apart from my professional career in the field of HRM, I am also a freelance writer of web and business contents.